Hello...where do I begin. My beautiful 12 year old daughter recently shared her "secret" with me. She's currently taking an anti-anxiety because she was into hair pulling to the point that she had little bald spots. That's stopped but now she's just replaced her outlet with cutting. A little background I've been raising my step-daughter since she was 6 years old. Life with her bio mom was a nightmare...full of abuse, drugs, neglect just to name a few. My daughter is starting to have memories of the ugly stuff she endured in her younger years. Aside from the SI she struggles with reckless decision making habits. I'm scared...I know that I'm blessed in the sense that she felt enough trust & acceptance from me that she was able to share her secret. I just don't want to lose her...like I tell her although she's not my tummy baby she's MY baby. I just needed to vent to someone who would understand & listen. Thank you...Vibi
Scared Mom
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 VibiS |
Scared Mom |
Lead | |
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Posts: 1 (03/23/07 20:06:35) |
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Deceased angel |
Re: Scared Mom | ||
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Posts: 912 (03/29/07 15:52:50) Mod |
Hiya Vibi, I have sent you a pm, I hope thats ok, was worried that you might not see my reply.
Hope your ok. Gemma |
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lifeisgood92 |
Don't Worry Too Much | ||
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Posts: 2 (01/06/08 13:14:08) |
Hi,
My name is Jes and I'm only 15 but I can help. I have used SI before to get stress out. When it comes to SI it is a way to get stress away from your life. Most people think it feels good after doing it. Please don't think that your daughter is going to commit suicide because if she was thinking about it she would have probibly already done it. When you use SI it is a filler for suicide because you still want to live but you don't want to die. She may have thought about it, yes, but she hasn't done it and that is a good thing. I know that you said you are her step mom and that she is having reminders of her biological mom. When you talk, hold her. It shows that you love her and you are going to be there for her and protect her from anything. It is great that she told you about the secret. Most people, including me, don't tell their parents because they don't want to be considered stupid or they don't want to be seen as this being somthing for attention. I hope that your daughter does realize that what her mother did to her was the past and that it shouldn't affect her anymore. Help her ralize that. She will appareciate it so much. Also, hang out with her. Go to the mall or do girly things. If shes not a total girly girl then take her to a sports game or do somthing that she likes like watch one on tv. I hope I helped. Good luck 
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Kytrian |
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Posts: 5 (03/13/08 15:28:52) |
The sooner she learns better ways to deal with what she is going through, the better off she will be. There is a misconception that it is just something that
she will outgrow. It can be very habit-forming.
It is great that she has you. Make sure she continues to know she can talk to you about what is going on in her life. If you don't know what to do, ask her what help she would be willing to get. Everyone needs a little assistance now and then and since you don't seem to be too familiar with it, it makes sense to get some more info. Just make sure that it is what she wants, not just what you want. K |
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prudence28 |
Dear Scared Mom | ||
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Posts: 1 (03/22/08 21:41:39) |
I understand what your twelve year old is going through. You done the right thing by listning to her. She is very lucky to have someone that she can trust. I
never told anyone what I was doing when I was her age. I came from a similar enviroment that she did and I didn't know how to express my hurt and anger. I
had to keep it inside. There was no resolution for my pain. I always felt like an outsider looking in at my peers around twelve, because my life was not as
"normal" as theirs. Although; I had a wonderful grandmother who was raising me from the seventh grade on, I never could tell her what I was really
feeling or going through because I was scared I would hurt her feelings. I would suggest thearpy for your daughter because I have learned that SI progresses.
It did for me and then later in life I was asking myself why did I put all these scars on myself for. SI is an addiction. There are different stages just like
alcohol or drug addiction. Your daughter may be in early stages of SI and you are very brave for seeking help.
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